When it hits you

I’m sitting in my livingroom with a glass of wine while my boyfriend is painting the kitchen so everything will look good when the landloard comes in a few days to inspect the apartment.

It’s a weird feeling. Pure excitement on one hand that soon I will be on a massive holiday with no end in sight. On the other hand I will leave so many loved ones behind, I will miss birthdays, weddings, the birth of one of my closest friends first baby. Yes I am nostalgic and the wine probably doesn’t help.

The last couple of days I have met up with so many friends, spent more time with my family than I have in quite a while. I went for dinner with my old flatmate, which I hadn’t see in three years eventhough we live in the same town. It made me aware of how lucky I am and the importance of those moments.

I am almost panicking that I won’t have enough time to see them all. To tell them all in person how much I love every single one of them. To hug them tight and say goodbye. But seeing my old flatmate after all this time and spending an evening like I had seen her just the day before shows me that my friends will still be there when I come home. Of course I will miss all of them terribly but wouldn’t it be sad if I didn’t? If I could just leave without any hestitation whatsoever? I think I am lucky to have people to miss, to have people who make saying goodbye so hard.

So I guess I’m just going to finish my wine, toast to my loved ones and be grateful for all the memories I can take with me on the trip of a lifetime.

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